Etiquette in Islam

By Paigham Mustafa

Social behaviour, both within families and among strangers, shapes our relationships and signals our roles in wider society. The Quran offers guidance on this and places particular emphasis on how women should interact with others. But why is this given special attention?

A woman’s role is regarded as pivotal. Her words or gestures, even when innocent, may sometimes be misunderstood, which could draw unwanted attention or, in the worst cases, lead to serious consequences—often more so than for men.

If a woman, whether deliberately or unintentionally, attracts inappropriate attention, her conduct may be judged as unbecoming for someone of good social standing.

Travell Guidance

When travelling, it is quite normal to exchange a few words with fellow passengers, as it can make the journey more pleasant. However, such conversations should always remain polite, brief, and never intrusive. Avoid sharing any personal or private information. It is important to remember that your co-passenger is unlikely to become a close or long-term friend, and you should not approach the interaction with that expectation.

In addition, you will encounter service providers such as airline staff, bus drivers, or taxi drivers. Conversations with them should be courteous but limited to what is necessary for the journey. While being polite is essential, it is advisable not to engage in unnecessary or extended chat, particularly with taxi drivers who may be accompanying you on a longer journey.

The key point to remember is that all these individuals are strangers. While politeness and respect are always appropriate, sharing personal details or saying anything that could be misinterpreted as an invitation beyond polite conversation should be avoided — especially for women, and particularly when travelling alone.

The above advice, based on the Quran, is for travellers, but of course, this applies to many other situations as well.

An example for all women

O wives of the messenger, you are not the same as any other women. Observe righteousness as you have a greater responsibility. Therefore, you shall be cautious and not speak in a manner that he in whose heart is a delusion may develop mistaken desires. You shall speak only righteousness.

[THE QURAN 33:32]

Guidance on Interaction with Non-Mahrams

The above caution is primarily directed towards women when dealing with strangers, but it can also extend to relatives and family acquaintances. For example, when greeting or addressing men other than one’s grandfather, father, or brothers.

Women are encouraged to adopt an attitude of reservation in such interactions. In general, men should be addressed politely, from a respectful distance, and without physical contact. A full embrace should be avoided. With uncles or cousins, a brief side embrace may be permissible where culturally acceptable, but discretion should always be exercised.

If a male addresses a woman inappropriately — for instance, using terms such as love, darling, or babe when there is no close relationship — the woman should not remain silent. Instead, she should politely but firmly correct him, reminding him that such forms of address are not appropriate. Acceptable alternatives include using her name, or respectful terms such as sister or aunt.

It is important to maintain a degree of reservation, if not formality, in interactions between women and non-mahrams. This ensures boundaries are preserved and respect is maintained.

Definition of Mahram: A mahram is a male relative with whom marriage (and therefore intimacy) is strictly prohibited, such as a father, brother, uncle, or son.

Significance: The distinction between mahram and non-mahram is central to the Islamic guidelines on modesty and social conduct. While the Qur’an does not prohibit interaction with strangers, nor does it explicitly require head or body covering such as the hijab or the burka, it does set out a clear framework for respectful and modest interaction between men and women. Modesty in both dress and manner is a binding requirement for both men and women.

Behaviour and dress code for believers

Tell the believing men that they shall subdue their eyes and not stare at women and to maintain their integrity. This is purer for them. God is fully aware of everything they do.

And instruct the believing women to subdue their eyes and maintain their chastity. They shall not reveal any parts of their bodies, except that which is necessary. They shall cover their bosoms and shall not relax this mode in the presence of other than their husbands, their fathers, the fathers of their husbands, their sons, the sons of their husbands, their brothers, the sons of their brothers, the sons of their sisters, other women, the male servants and employees whose sexual drive has been nullified or the children who have not reached puberty. They shall not walk in a manner so wanton and attract attention to themselves. All of you shall turn to God and, O you who believe, that you may succeed. [THE QURAN 24:30-31].

Can  Married Woman Have Male Friends?

In Islam, marriage is not only a social contract but also a sacred covenant built upon trust, loyalty, and mutual protection. The Quran describes spouses as “garments for one another” (2:187), meaning they are each other’s cover, comfort, and safeguard. Within this framework, the concept of friendship between a married woman and a non-mahram man — particularly one that involves going out, spending time together, or forming a close bond — conflicts with the values of modesty, respect, and marital integrity that the Quran upholds.

1. Safeguarding Marital Trust

Marriage relies on complete trust between husband and wife. If a woman invests her time, emotional energy, or companionship in a non-mahram man, it may naturally raise doubts, suspicions, or insecurities within her marriage.

The Quran advises believers:

“Do not follow the footsteps of Satan. Surely he commands immorality and wrongdoing.” (2:168)

What may begin as innocent companionship can slowly lead to inappropriate emotional closeness, weakening the sanctity of marriage. Protecting trust means avoiding situations that could compromise it.

2. The Principle of Modesty (Haya)

The Quran consistently emphasises modesty in conduct between men and women.

Friendship of the type that involves outings, private conversations, or close companionship naturally opens the door to relaxed behaviour that can blur these Quranic boundaries. Modesty is not just about clothing but about interactions that preserve dignity and respect.

3. Avoiding Emotional Attachment Outside Marriage

Islam acknowledges the natural pull between men and women. The Quran warns the wives of the messenger, as an example to all women.

“…do not be soft in speech, lest one in whose heart is a disease should be moved with desire; but speak in a straightforward manner.” (33:32)

This verse highlights that even words, if not guarded, can lead to emotional misdirection. A friendship that involves emotional sharing or companionship risks creating an attachment outside the marriage bond, which could undermine the marital relationship.

4. Preserving Boundaries with Non-Mahrams

The concept of mahram in Islam is central to safeguarding family and social order. A married woman is encouraged to interact with non-mahrams only when necessary and in a dignified, limited manner. Going out, “hanging out,” or treating a man as a close companion or frined falls outside these guidelines and weakens the protective boundary Islam places for her honour.

5. Upholding Marital Exclusivity

Marriage in Islam is meant to be exclusive. Emotional companionship and personal time are rights spouses owe each other. By diverting these to an outsider, even without physical wrongdoing, the exclusivity of the marital bond is diluted. The Quran describes marriage as qualities that should be nurtured only within the marital relationship.

While Islam promotes kindness, respect, and professional cooperation between men and women, it discourages informal companionship and friendships between a married woman and a non-mahram man. This is not to restrict women unfairly, but to preserve the sanctity of marriage, protect modesty, and uphold trust. By maintaining clear boundaries, a married woman safeguards her dignity, her marriage, and her obedience to God’s commands — ensuring peace of heart and home in this life and reward in the Hereafter.

See verses 33:32–34.

© 2026 Paigham Mustafa

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Paigham Mustafa has been engaged in the study and research of the Quran since 1988 and has contributed to the print media for over 37 years. His first major work, The Quran: God’s Message to Mankind, was published in 2016, followed by The Divine Blueprint in 2022. He is also the author of How To Be Human, published in 2025. His exegesis of the Quran often challenges traditional readings, offering instead a reasoned and objective analysis of the original text. His works provide essential guidance,  helping readers gain a clearer, more informed understanding of Islam. This helps address many of the issues that stem from misunderstandings, misinterpretations, and misconceptions

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